After the Quake, and Why I'm Staying

Continuing on with unburdening my mind after the events of March 11th, I wanted to talk about what happened after the quake, as well as the little memories that have stuck with me the most during this stressful time. I also wanted to address, briefly, my personal reasons for staying, and explain them to my family and friends.

The two other English teachers stayed with me and Aaron for a while, one for a few days and the other for about a week before everyone felt safe to go back to their own homes. We continued to sleep together on futons laid out all over the floor in our living room, again to be close to the door in case we needed to evacuate quickly. The constant aftershocks left us all with a sense of vertigo; often one of us would look up in alarm, sensing an earthquake, only to realize that it was only in our head. We couldn't take showers for the first two days immediately following the disaster, as our power remained out for that entire time. Without power, there was no heat, and no heat meant no hot water. No one was particularly keen on the idea of taking a shower in freezing cold water. Finally being able to take one was the first thing to really make me feel better after the quake.

The local grocery store opened up once during the power outage, on a limited basis only, to sell ramen, as well as fruits and vegetables that were going to go bad without cooling. As there was no power, they only let a few people in at a time, through a small area, before taking everyone to where a line of cashiers waited with calculators and cash in hand. We stocked up on food, making sure to buy lots of cup ramen, and stockpiled it on our kitchen table. Once power was restored, people piled into the supermarkets to buy food. At first, little things ran out, like instant ramen and miso soup packets. Then, other things started to become scarce. As of now, things are finally starting to get back to normal, but for a while our grocery store was almost completely out of bread, rice, ramen, snacks, milk, butter, frozen foods, and many other emergency food supplies.

The reason for this random food shortage was another cause for concern: there was no gas. The quake and following tsunami had damaged/destroyed most of the supply lines for the Tohoku region, and gas tankers were unable to come up to re-fill stations. Gas stations quickly closed, having nothing to sell. When a shipment did come in, there were lines as long as 6 hours to buy about 20 bucks worth of gas. Buses and other vehicles used by the city took priority, but even they had to make changes. The buses ran on a limited Saturday schedule all week, and cancelled all Sunday routes. Our car was so low on gas that the next time we went to the station, we knew we had to fill up. So, we ended up not using our car, at all, for almost two weeks. When the main highway into the Tohoku region was finally opened up last week (after passing a safety inspection and being repaired in certain areas) this situation improved rapidly. We can now get a full tank of gas again at any gas station we go to, with no wait at all.

With the power coming back after two days, we were finally able to watch the news and see the damage caused by the tsunami along the east coast. I almost wished we didn't. The images we finally saw on the TV were unreal; houses floating on tsunami waves while on fire (which seems like some sort of horrible joke), entire villages reduced to kindling, people sobbing as they helplessly watched others being swept away.... Many of the survivors have said that it was hell. Seeing the images, I believe it. It was horrible enough just seeing, I can't imagine living through it.

Hachinohe, a city about 40 minutes away from where I live, was hit by the tsunami. While not nearly as bad as some of the places down south, it still sustained a lot of damage to the port area. It was shocking to see pictures and videos of places I had been, now destroyed almost past recognition. Kaboshima, the Seagull Island I talked about last year? That got hit. The shrine, being up on a hill, is still there, but the buildings surrounding it are gone or badly damaged. The little booth next to the base of the shrine that sold food for the seagulls got washed away. Debris, cars, and boats are smashed up and laying everywhere, and the entire area is covered by this thick, black mud. I don't even want to imagine what the beautiful Tanizushi Seaside looks like now.

One thing that has been continuously stuck in my mind since it happened was an experience we had the day of the quake. Having picked up the two other English teachers, we went to the Board of Education in my town to check in with my supervisor and let her know we were okay. As we walked along the strangely empty and quiet road, we passed by a large, old clock outside a local barber shop here. It was frozen at 2:46, the time of the earthquake. I admit I haven't had the courage to go look at it again since. I'm afraid that if it actually broke and froze at that time, instead of just stopping due to lack of power, that I will be forced to relive my emotions from that moment.

Even with all the bad things that happened though, and the massive amounts of stress we were all experiencing (I have never, ever wanted things to just go back to normal so badly. Not being able to lose myself in Dragon Age II, with my Xbox still being broken at that time, was irrationally infuriating.), there were some good memories too. In particular, the kindness of my friends and neighbors here in my little town stand out. A local funeral store owner gave us candles and candlesticks during the blackout for free, as we didn't have nearly enough. We all went and visited her and her family many times during the week after the earthquake, to talk and take advantage of human company. We also went to my supervisor's house many times, where she talked with us and made us warm, comforting tea. An older lady friend of ours had been in Europe recently, and was on the bullet train in Sendai when the tsunami hit. After being trapped inside for 9 hours, they finally let the passengers out and they walked along the tracks to the nearest station. There they were able to take buses to make it the rest of the way to their destination. After our friend finally reached our town again, one of the first things she did was harvest some fruit from her garden, and along with some souvenir chocolate, she came and delivered it to our house to check on how we were doing. I will never forget the kindness of these people, as well as many others who just stopped me to talk a bit and see how I was.

This really was a traumatic experience, for me as well as a lot of other people. Many foreigners living here in Japan have returned home, some for a short period of time, some permanently. While I understand the feelings behind those decisions, I do not share their desire to leave. I've had many friends and family ask if I am okay, and stress out about the situation down in Fukushima, and puzzle at my seeming calm. I am very, very far away from everything happening down there. The radiation level in my area is the same as always, and even if it was higher, I believe what the experts are saying about most of the areas with radiation posing minimal health risks, if at all. There is very little reason for me to worry about it, as there is nothing I can really do to change it. For me, the risk I face here is not at a significant enough level for me to leave, and I don't want to go back to America and leave all my Japanese friends behind here, especially after how kind they have been to me. I truly feel I have been accepted here, and until my contract ends, as far as I'm concerned this is my home right now. This is just for me, however, and I am fortunate to have many good friends here, as well as a husband who has supported me and been with me through all this. Many other foreigners that have left are single, and in this stressful time, without the support of a spouse or close friends, I can understand the desire to be with family. Others are also much, much closer to the disaster area than I am. Some have lost their homes in the tsunami, and at least one English teacher here has lost her life. My heart goes out to those people, as well as everyone else who has lost their homes or loved ones in this disaster.

With this, I am now done, and moving on from this subject. Talking about all this has definitely helped me. If you took the time to read both, thank you, my heart is a lot lighter now. I just want to end with one last thing: I am okay. I am cared for, my house is still here, I have power, food, friends and even laughter. My area is mostly returned to normal at this point, and I am thankful for it. There are many, many others, however, who have lost everything, and will not be okay for some time, if ever. If you haven't already, please make the effort to do something for Japan, whether it be a monetary donation, a moment of your time, or a thought and a prayer, sending good wishes their way. Thank you.